women's appreciation

I was in San Francisco couple months back. And I met some of the people running this zine. And all you should know is: They are teenagers. They are full with energy, enthusiasm, knowledge, curiosity and punk, and want to learn about the whole world if it’s connected to angry but cool youth, about our world we have created for ourselves. They’re not gonna grow out of anything. ‘Cause there’s nothing to grow out of and nowhere to grow up unless you wanna be a boring asshole among shallow people.

That’s why I also really wish the best to Laura Jane Grace from Against Me! because she grew up and no longer dreaming means she has to be a resident of this cruel shithole called the real world. And while I wouldn’t wish this badly vibing internet ignorance to anyone, the irony is entertaining me that the stadiums Against Me! have molded their music and ideas to are now big enough to fill with all those xenophobic assholes who are way beyond freaked out about her coming out. Not to go too unnecessarily further with my rant: Against Me! should keeping fucking themselves for whatever they are as a band as a message. Although I still love you Julie. But it’s really not her who I wanna talk about.  

What was weird about the coverage of this was it sounded like as if now since there is a woman in the band in charge of being the so-called brain behind songwriting, then everything is in DANGER! Not just the sound of their upcoming songs but even their whole existence as well. People are worried of the future of the band? Like if they changed anyhow that would be the first time in the history of music a band starts to suck because some of the members’ personal life has an affect on the band’s music? Most of my previous columns are about awesome bands’ terrible records. Read those and learn about reality. Have you heard people complaining on how HR’s drug addiction turned Bad Brains into complete crap? OK, well maybe… But reading about how people are worried that Against Me! will start to suck? They already changed from heartfelt-squatter-folk-in-the-core-of-a-punk-band to a shitty crap-MTV-stardom-cloroxed-living-room-rock. The last record I have heard from them sounded like punks who wanna play Franz Ferdinand.

But why would she stop playing music the same music she was playing before? Because women don’t play music? Because women don’t play punk music? Also why are her fans are upset and confused? I mean it’s a huge thing in a person’s life—and her friends’ and family’s life—to make such decisions. But she is doing it for her own happiness and last time I checked Against Me! did not really sounded like the Mentors thus I don’t really get how her being fully herself would change any of her band’s sounds or ideas. Or is it different to hear those ideas from a woman than from a man? But especially when those ideas could come from anyone and they are that watered down and shitty to begin with. My mom always tells me I should wake up from my teenage dream and if I told her I have anarchistic views on living in this world she would tell me it’s a lie, but I wouldn’t somehow believe it more if it came from my father.

But this whole fuss really made me think in a big way—about women, about women in music and especially women in the punk scene. I have seen a friend of mine playing the guitar with his penis, but besides the fact that it looked freaky it didn’t really help his playing or make him look too cool either. So why are we so anchored to the need of penises between the legs of our idolized noisemakers?  That day this news on LJG got revealed I went to see some friends’ band practice. Incidentally, they are all women. They are together for like half a year and they play this Minor Threat-esque but collapsing plain punk hardcore. What I love in the first Minor Threat album is that it’s so visceral and natural and confused and sometimes falling apart but still a fucking powerhouse, they can’t go wrong. The guitar is playing thoughts of angry youth like hating school and jobs and cops rather than notes or bridges and choruses. And they— the girls I went to check—were awesome but weird as well.

Look, I’m as ignorant as Agnostic Front’s United Blood (not if they have gained any more intellectual ever since) so maybe I shouldn’t really start scratching the surface of why are girls especially in countries like mine are forced to be this way even in punk.

But when I was in SF almost every band that I saw had at least female member and Replica ripped my fucking head off without asking anyone’s permission or looking around to see who they should care about. Seriously, at an Oakland show I was moshed into a kitchen from a pit the girls had started. And these girls at home could have done the same to me. But they were for some reason concerned (in a different way from the guys who do the same thing) about what people will think about them, even among the safety walls of their rehearsal room. They wanted to play their songs good rather than just play good overall. But I mean punk is about mistakes so if you make one just keep on playing cause you are doing something right.

For some reasons (which might be more to do with writing this at work and being on my third beer and no food at all) being there and seeing them play, it was almost like they were playing punk for the first time. Or at least I felt it that way sitting on the cold floor being half drunk, suffocated on deodorant sprays and windowless room heat. They tried to figure out what will sound how and because they are girls it seemed like they felt like they had to reinvent punk for themselves from the basics. And although I loved this idea, I also wanted them to be natural. They were intimidated by me and I guess it’s normal since I’m a critical, cynical huge fucking asshole, especially when they see me hugging my beer, but I just wanted them to fucking hate me, to make me the reason why they are shy and then stab that shyness in the fucking throat with their raging songs. I wanted them—and more so their music—to frighten me. They asked me to check them out for my opinion on them, but what they should know—and it’s already fucked up I’m saying this—that they don’t need a man to tell them what they should do or care what the fuck I think about them. ‘Cause I didn’t go to their practice as a talent agent. I went there to be amazed by their rage—that I don’t put out, we don’t give a fuck, subvert normality, disco sucks rage. Of running away not from home but from society and all it’s bullshit. It’s not some huge, “let’s all rise, unite and take over” speech. I’m not Bill Pullman at the end of Independence Day. But everybody who is punk and likes to be punk, they should act like Randy Quaid did while flying his jet into the eyes of the enemy, laughing, spitting and not being bothered to die. In punk only those fail on stage who are not willing to die for themselves.

This rehearsal also reminded me that I love compilations. I love them for the same reason I love punk. There are million bands after each other ripping so hard I’m being amazed by our whole counter culture. One of the most inspiring comps of all time for me is the Bullshit Detector ones. ‘Cause they not only summon a time and scene but they also summon what is so good in punk. No matter how fucked up you play, if you are smart and have the will you will succeed. It’s the punk plus that makes everything so good and those three comps with their many dozen bands are almost all great, even if some of them can’t play their instruments at all, it’s that rage which could be naive as hell but still could fill up kids hearts with adrenaline and courage to start making their own shit and recognize others’ bullshit.

Because for me women are mysteriously amazing as well as anarcho punx, thus for me this whole crass movement is a feminine one too. While I love hanging out with weirdly masculine people, especially when they are women or kinda stupid boys, I’m really psyched for my new band. We even will have a skinhead member who is a self-proclaimed emo skin. So every member except me has a feminine soul especially the girl who will play bass. And I’m really excited to experience creating something new with this set of people and minds. Not that we will be “The Feminine Band That The Scene Needs” or anything, but I’m really excited to play with these new people and excited about our bass player as well ‘cause even though she played the harp for six years it will be her first time to be in a punk band and play the bass. And a friend of mine was right that he always wants someone in his bands to be an absolute beginner on her or his instrument ‘cause people who just started playing music care about what they like to hear and being creative not just playing out from knowledge and being aware of which riff is completely in tune.

What we are great at most is this just this. Punk is a community that cares about the people behind the music—their stories, their ideas. and whatever it is since it’s punk and cool and sounds true and sincere everybody can be themselves and do their own thing. The only thing you have to be is yourself. Even Against Me! dared to be so awful, so that now playing music as a girl or just dare to be a girl is such a punk move for anyone. And no one should be afraid to do these things cause to be a real punk it not only means to act like one but realize the punkness in others as well. Because if we can’t see how awesome people are when they are fully themselves and having fun, then they will be afraid to be themselves. And women are awesome. Just listen to the guitars in Drunkdriver. That girl equals noise as well as noise equals her, and noise is what’s cool. So get up and make yours. Alright, I am Bill Pullman at the end of Independence Day!