# 356

How long is this zine on? Three decades and I bet even in this issue there will be someone still struggling with defining punk. It’s like life, it’s on for more than 30 years and we still try to figure out why or just what’s the point anyway. But this constant search for the meaning of punk is part of the magic surrounding this amazing international culture of everyone who is mentally smashing important things during daydreaming sessions, or who feel alienated and can indulge her or himself in lovely dissonant music, hummed by the youth in rage and recorded through broken recording devices. I think I did my part in defining my punk within these lines in some previous columns, thus the topic this time around will be a slightly different.

Now I wanna talk about the rules in punk. Which is for sure stupid, but these things are coming back all the time to bother us. In a way I like to look on punk as someone said about porn: it’s impossible to define but we know it when we see it. Thus although I hate rules I like to keep my natural judgment on things. Which is like what Spiderman has for danger. My head starts to bleep and vibrate when I encounter something that just feels like total bullshit. Although, I also know that I’m not the centre of this world, so sometimes I do have to get used to other people’s way of existence, even if it bothers the hell out of me.

Most of the time when I’m at a show I go right up front to only see the band and no one else. ‘Cause I don’t wanna care about people and their surrounding reality. I have collected many bruises and other difficulties due to people at shows and while they could have spared me these injuries I never raised my voice because I just didn’t give that much of a fuck. As I think about it, it’s in the game. That’s my stoic existentialist view of the world: even assholes are the part of living through a life. Somehow I created my space of living as to just focus on things in their purest form and this way I try to avoid all the social rules and disturbances. I try to listen to bands without too much context. I try not to care that much about how to fit in. I just try to be myself and not to want to hurt people who don’t deserve it. But I wanna be happy, so I want bands to make me feel good. I don’t go into this game with empty hands. I’m open to anything that’s real and honest and not jazz. So I say there is not that much of need for rules in punk other than what feels natural. And since being a punk is never forced, it has its natural feelings, an unwritten code of honor.

Like maybe many people would think this magazine is run by some messed up ultra-communist, non-sexual, pc-fascist lifeless losers who listen to and interview bands who don’t even exist. But the truth is when I was at the compound one of the shitworkers, or just a friend who was hanging there, invited us to a crusade to get my nose broken by tits at a strip joint. And later in the heat of the party after the failed mission, when we got back to the compound—and due to some messed up circumstances—I dropped my pants and did the Silence of the Lambs scene with a bit more flashing. People there who were I guess mostly girls just laughed. I had discussion of sex and was pulling out some friendly European neighbor-country racism stuffs, and although I was afraid they would fire me from the magazine when they actually met me in person, I actually had a great time there and never really felt I have to think twice about the stuffs in my head. I was among the coolest, nicest, funniest people.

It’s just if you are punk you know the rules by your nature. And of course nothing comes for free so sometimes there is a road to take to become the person you finally feel comfortable to being. Which is I guess just a modest way to say how to be self-righteous. But I mean we are born stupid and then we experience and get to know other things; so never be afraid to improve and question yourself and your surroundings but also never force anything that doesn’t feel natural. But sadly for some people natural is what is fucked up for others. Good thing I write for MRR which means whatever I say is right.

This whole topic came to my mind due to two things. First there was one minor incident in the brief past at a local show where a friend of mine who also is my roommate got drunk at a NO TOLERANCE show and went to the first row with a sip-full glass of beer. The lame mosh-bro vibe started and the beer was spilled and some old fuck started threatening my friend with killing him and another guy spat on my pal.

The next day the comment war started on a local message board about the ethics and rules of who stands where and with what in which shows. And while my opinion is everybody should stand wherever they want with whatever they want, the more I started thinking about how this really shouldn’t even need to be discussed. But somehow these are the rituals and cultish debating methods we always come back to.

The best shows are always the ones where something unexpected and unoccasional happens. I hate it when people are forcing these irregular joyful moments. When it gets awkward to watch how some people just have the idea to have fun but they are not actually doing it, just imitating. I hate bands who ask their audience to come closer and sing along or throw around motions, like they are directing you what to do to their music. I guess they don’t realize that they aren’t playing for the audience then or mostly for themselves but they act like their audience is apparently there more to entertain them. Play better music or find your specific crowd if you want a specific reaction. And to assume your crowd likes your music enough to know the lyrics and have the will to dance but some they just need you to make them remember this?  Saying such things is definitely beyond my understanding of how people look on each other, or should look on each other, especially at a punk gig.

This week I was listening to some inspirational master class where a successful and really talented screenwriter was telling his audience about how to be a writer. It had no influence on me. ‘Cause the thing is I guess if you are really gonna be a good writer you don’t need the influence from others, to find yourself in other people’s success. The only thing this guy kept repeating was how he knows that he doesn’t know anything. So he is not a writer. Neither am I. And I never wanted to be. I just have to tell my things to people and this is the laziest way. I’m a punk and I don’t need anyone to tell me how to be punk. If you were punk then rules—no matter who is telling you them—wouldn’t affect you. Even if you read MRR. It really just has to come to you naturally.

The other thing that triggered this flood of rambled thoughts is the release of the new BAADER BRAINS LP. The record is great, of course, but they flipped the switch in my brain about their modus operandi. I might know the real identity of some of the members or I might not. You could never know. This is for example one of the rules from them that gets broken. Here’s this band which might not have changed the world for me, but they made me think and I might have changed the world inside of myself thanks to them. For me punk is what could happen anywhere anytime. They set up the aura of their stages, they think forward, they have plans. For me punk is instant and spontaneous when it comes to putting yourself out there. But yet they wear masks. Once they played behind a white curtain that only let the audience see their silhouettes. This made me think—what’s the real difference then between a show and just a simple musical experience, listening to a record, or whatever? Are they somehow faceless when they put more effort into creating something that other new bands barely even ever tried? Does it even really matter to see someone’s face? Their gestures? Or is it enough to on the other hand feel a band’s pretence and ritualized emotional displays under totally controlled circumstances. Could more “real” music come through a white curtain? Do names matter? Their former bands? Have you read their survival notebooks? Does anyone care? This band brings me that much food for thought, I feel like I’m on a “What’s Punk?” feast. And while their music stands out in balancing crushing hardcore, visceral punk melodies, experimental collage samplings and battle hymn anthems, their music sounds just like everything else they do, as part of a bigger plan. As a weapon—something above us while it’s among us. As looking for whatever is inside you and how to bring it out in the most proper way. This is why those masks are not covering anything that is important, but making us see what is. Some bands are more than music even if they are actually great in song writings too. And although I would love to write amazing sentences about every band, that would be a rule for myself I just won’t follow now. Just be yourself kid!