#365

Whoops. It’s getting seriously deadline time. And it’s 1:43 am I’m dead tired, I just came back from a show and I will play a show tomorrow on a boat for people who dress better than I do and after the painfully hang over morning I will travel to another town to hang with people. Streaming New Order’s performance Taras Shevchenko session right now. Writing a pamflett against a band and our government. Reading too much of the middle-east situation and foreign wars. Proxy wars. Whatever. Sometimes I wanna do serious things here like no cursing and being a bit more journalistic or literaturical or other things. Like not saying “and shit” all the time. Other times I just wanna be like how I like to be. Like a bad dream of a weird memory. No order, full blown emotional wreck, drugs, anti jokes. Don’t know If anyone is reading this. I do skip some of the other columnists because the subjects I care about is not what they write about. As John Peel said the problem is with those who listen not who are providing something to listen to. Except if you are being a spokes man for child molestation. I’m doing so many other things for MRR now I kinda forgot I have to do this as well and since all of my texts need heavy edition I need more time.

Also please if you like what I do here check my blog too. Since that not only has extended versions of my columns but sometimes they are less edited = more weird. To be honest I don’t really remember what has happened since I wrote my previous column. It should not be due to drugs since i can’t remember the last time I smoked weed. Probably at some park. My first band will do a reunion show in support of one of our friends who is having health issues. I’m not really a big fan of reunions and somehow it depresses me that to get people’s attention you need to reform something that happened years ago. But on the other hand we see it as a nice gesture. This friend of ours went away to work and live in London. He is one of the coolest, most energetic and dedicated people I know. He is just pure positive energy. He is sxe hardcore, I’m a drunk loser punk. At one point we stoped our daily conversations but I never thought we went cold. He is just a person I will always like. And now it’s heartbreaking he has to re-learn to do things which seem so natural for all of us. This way it’s the least we can do to re-learn some of our old songs and just like we did to perform them as hard as we can.

I missed playing with those 4 guys but truth be said I’m in a band with one of them and frequently hanging and touring with the others. With getting a bit confused on ecstasy of reunions I started planning to organize a local festival with local bands to show the country there is punk worth feeling threatened by. Sometimes I think about maybe punk is no longer a threat it’s more of a protection. Also with just lining up all the local bands for this fest I felt like I have to do a scene report. So be prepared. I think the key for a good scene is that you should just appreciate the good things. And the good things are not only a world wide hype. There are millions of bands like Iceage around you but they are better but to realize why you just have to listen and not only be told. Just today I was listening to this band called Ragana and I have no fucking idea who they are and what they do but their demo is rad. You just have to be happy and with punk around you it’s not that difficult.

I was also rereading layla’s review of my zine. And it made me wonder back to those times when I did it. Also to times when she was writing columns which she should do again. And for fuck sake I should finish my fanzines and I should finish my scene report and sort out pictures for the interviews I made and finish this column. I have started working as an unpaid intern for a news site which is cool I guess. I have never wanted to be a journalist because I know I have no intention to keep a proper word order and I could not give a flying fuck about gramer. But I do like to write and I do hate the government and assholes who I can just in a micro way piss off and it’s just so cool. The first time I had to call around government offices to fact check something about corruption in a district and it turned out those pigs are dirty as shit I was just so happy that I could be the part of busting the balls of those assholes. I always thought having a job is not important. I mean what you work shouldn’t be the most important thing in your life. But for the first time doing something daily for 8 hours what I like to do and in a way feel capable to do it, it’s just really rewarding. 

Ah fuck, I’m out of step with the world. I barely listen to any new bands which I really should cause I want to but I’m lazy as shit too with reading books and watching movies. I can’t remember when was the last time I cooked something that is a meal not just fried eggs or a cheese sandwhich with mushrooms. But I eat out a lot. Who cares? When did food become the new rock and roll? The new Svenonious book on rock and roll and mostly on life is really worth reading. I think I seriously did not listen to any music last month. But we recorded a new demo that will be out on vinyl. I rode a bike drunk for long hours and after that I have slept in a Christian dorm’s chapel almost naked with one hand in a glass of booze. I did not piss myself. I was at a garden party and a seventeen year old girl told me to fuck off in a punk way because my band covered a lame song at one of our shows out of a joke. But how cool is this teen girls being punk and telling old farts like I’m to fuck off. I just did mushroom alone while my friends were sitting around me and it was so weird to talk about people breaking their edge. Who gives a fuck? It’s not about burning out, I respect all my friends who are still straight edge but for fuck sake there are things in life that is still punk but matters a lot more. At the end Marx wasn’t a Marxist so please realize forced ideologies are killing us. I should force some fucking counter culture on me cause I’m being afraid I will become lazy and boring.