#364

Thank whatever higher power for being kicked in the face at shows or falling on the floor with my face enough times to have a nose that is completely useless except for serving as a target of anti-Semites and making me unable to smell the punk life that should be circling in my room right now. This is written from a worn out bed among possibly stinky sheets. And the ride has not ended. This week I had three bands in my flat on two nights and shit has happened. Now I’m listening to my gifted Wipers lp through my headphone and getting paranoid as the caffeine is sneaking out from me and my good night beer kicks in. Will grill some mushrooms for a cheese sandwich later. Gosh I ordered some ‘shrums. Future tripping. Also jamming Kinks, the early recordings. And Gas Rag as yesterday I was in a wild van that was cruizin around my town looking for the right bar and blasting this particular band’s demo, full with punx singing along and spilling shit on each other. I still think every single day that Gun Outfit’s new album is the best thing ever, their totally dreamy music is for those who will sleep when they are dead and stay awesome while alive and awake. I’m gonna lay down in the grass and let the sky suck me in while I blast this from a broken stereo. It is meant to connect you with things beyond objects and time. Why are things that are damaged able to tell the truth in a better way? I just wanna eat pizza in my bed, beat the shit out from my computer in chess and surround myself with art. Other people’s art. Whatever. I started to appreciate architecture since last Saturday when I had to spend some time in a dystopian-failed-futuristic, now-rotting-in-it’s-own-shit train station in my country and was watching neo nazi skinheads drinking beer in a happy way while I was just wondering about my glory days spent in the Rat / Xerox van while yeah, I was listening to Gun Outfit. I love music, and I can’t believe how good it is. The whole thing. All the bands. The feeling that it’s not certain. It’s not what you see, it’s not what the story should be. It’s only noise that resonates in your head and the rest is up to you. I love The Pin Group with their spooky, gloomy, wonderfully strange sound which might be familiar to you if you have ever had strange thoughts like still finding warmth on a cancelled beach day, or The Packs with their mellow power of bright darkness, Krakdown, Psycich TV single collections with the greatest lover of all time. Genesis P Ordige is a weird human and I hate myself for having stucked to the attitude and rather playing a show with my band than seeing him perform on PTV3’s final tour in my town. I’m so obsessed with that The Fall song Barmy that I wish Mark E Smith would have taken an E when they played the Hacienda. And listening to Siege, DYS and New Order till the sun comes up. Or getting high every night for a week via my pipe and watch early videos of Meat Puppets, Die Kreuzen and Das Damen for endless hours. I should finish my zines. And my short stories. People, do your shit and be better than me. I wanna listen to bands that start with a C. Sometimes I want to do so many things that I end up doing nothing but thinking on how I could watch movies and listen to music at the same time. I love music that sounds like puking at 4 am and I like fanzines that read like they were written in one night and their authors just created another universe on their pages. I have been to so many good shows lately. And I saw My Bloody Valentine and When You Sleep is still better than almost anything else. Like a wake up kiss from a deep sleep. Music for the dreamers. These sounds are like secret visions going on in your head that they surprisingly seem to know about, at the concert they sounded like the 90s, the whole decade, which was, by the way, so weird and emotionally exhausting that at one point I felt like something will just end. I feel this nowadays very often,too. Doomsday or finally heaven? Will find out.

Kriegshog is cool. I love hardcore that is not hardcore. Or not played by either mentally or physically healthy people. I just want that over-the-edge madness to be the hard in the core not just replaced by studio production and tuning down. I love that Japanese bands can’t really speak English still they are obsessed with writing lyrics in English and thus use their lyrics and the language as another instrument. Still there is that amazing frustration coming through their words from the singers’ throats. So Good. Zyanose is super sick.

Bands we booked in the recent past: Divided Minds, Black Gust, Creem, Nuclear Spring, Sickoids, Rank / Xerox, Rat Columns. The Divided Minds, Black Gust show got cancelled if you can call no electricity in a club a cancellation, so we replaced the gig to our rehearsal room. Hordes of drunk punks showed up from nowhere and were dancing wild with their skateboards in the fucking filth. The show was great, noisy and everything. Balkan desperation at its best. Leather jackets, patch distros. Black Gust is all the filth you can summon from your collection of kdb hardcore bands. As if germs were born into Zagreb, fed on glue. Chronic Sick with nice people, who after all still puke into your parents’ bed. Especially live, mostly in a dirty rehearsal room. Divided Minds is also hardcore but more from the Beach Blvrd era: stoned, pure raging, with lightly distorted guitars and controlled rage, very weird and powerful.

The day after this show my band and local noise makers CHAPPA'AI played a flat show in a city central house’s third floor. No neighbors, no cops. Sick shows, weird crowd, no punks but at least a girl came in a black flag shirt. People said that while singing I looked as if I could kill someone. Sorry I just have emotions. I was only paranoid that the floor will collapse and we will fell into another resident’s flat from the ceiling.

Creem and Nuclear spring were amazing. The show was tight, even some Hassid guy came down to be a pogo monster and kick up everybody in pit. But they are amazing as people too. You wouldn’t expect a hardcore band say siiick on your Hegel book and quote randomly Slavoj Zizek but they did and were just really cool people. Sickoids also, what a band, what a humble, quiet, awkward but lovely group of individuals who can do a massive and loud destruction when playing their desperate punk hymns. Awkward raging. At one point they just got so drunk that when we went out for cruzin and boozing with them we even sent a picture of our balls to the compound.

I have three bands now. There‘s lots of work, things are overdue all the time and my ears started to ring. But I have written a song that is just a very dumb psychedelic menace oi-core, so funny I was wearing a second hand fred perry shirt. I practice songs at nights and I only drink coffee on rehearsals.

Now I’m chugging beers but it’s a Sunday. And blasting Bad Brains. I should make a tape. You should make a scene. Or just stay up late enough so that your brain starts to process by itself. I feel like I’m losing my edge. I swear I haven’t listened to Crass in months but day by day I just see less point in all of this. How we go and play along with this punch line-less comedy, measuring ourselves and putting price tags on everything we do. But everybody can do almost anything if they are not totally stupid. There is money that is going in circles and seriously it is just given around and there you go, join your circle or shut up. Bow your head to the bullshit. I think I just wanna be happy and that’s all. Many times I envy people and more times I envy them for things I don’t even want. To be honest what I want is just to feel safe and be able to say no. So first I should feel safe, then I should be asked and then I could say no.

These are all just random thoughts typed out from a damaged brain through several 10 minutes of permanent midnights. Feelings. Nowadays I’m obsessed with record reviews. Ones that tell stories, situations, circumstances. There is music that captures a scene, a landscape, a mood and those couldn’t be sweated down to be described as simple songs played by musicians with instruments. These noises that surround music couldn’t be learnt to be fabricated. It’s on the dirt of the pants the bands are wearing, the glue that they are puking out while singing, the desperation they are carrying around even after leaving their rooms. We can hear and understand these, feel them. Not knowing them fully but just being sure that yeah I got it. Some things are just hard to transcribe. These are when you wanna punch something but don’t know what and why, you just shake your hands in happy delusion. And you wanna do things, wanna escape from something to be in the light, just spin around and cry while you are laughing. While real life shouldn’t mean that much to us. We rather roll around in sauna-like vans and talk about silly youtube videos and unknown records or are trapped in stoned daze in a strange kitchen / backstage discussing telepathy and fate or dumb hardcore singers and shell shock rock bands. Listening to kraut rock and paranoid wave, ndw feel. Soviet sounds. Music that was composed on soulful computers bleeping the binary sadness of modern life. I think Rank / Xerox is the best band ever, they are violent and collapsing while it feels all the time they are keeping the control, and even though they are some of the nicest people I have met there is something very outsider in them especially when they perform. Purely amazing and universal. I will interview them so you could be disciplined too. Do you know that feeling when a band is playing and it just feels like they are not just understanding whatever you are going through but they also made a soundtrack for it? So it feels like you understand them and thus you and the band are just one and then it becomes a huge US. Now I feel lucky, now I feel that life sometimes is amazing. I have read one sentence in their van and I’m gonna leave you with that: Everything in the world is beautiful, but Man only recognizes beauty if he sees it either seldom or from afar. Listen, today we are gods! – Nabokov.

fuck fact-core!

# 363

If I think about what is the essence of MRR for me I have to say it’s a 16 year old punker interviewing Kathleen Hanna or reading about Complicité Candied on the first when they made it to the first place in one of the ex coordinators’ top ten of decade zerozero list. I live one country away from the Czech Republic and have never heard of this band. Still it states that if you do something what is really good you will be recognized.
It’s a lie to say we are all equal in punk cause for sure if you are in a crust band your chances are higher to be recognized if you are hailing from Scandinavia or Japan. If your scene is on fire you will be in spotlight too and for sure bands will get more attention who are from western countries, have better economy, more established roots in punk history etc. This is just obvious, for nothing else they can get more money even for shitty jobs, so they can have better equipments with what they could sound better or at least have a specific sound. They can tour more thus be a tighter band and it matters if you can say “fuck it, rock and roll, whatever” and be just cool.

While bands from poorer or disadvantaged countries have to prove themselves and many times these turn into struggle that sounds awful. This is the sad truth but luckily here is this magazine with amazing people behind it. I’m not behind this magazine as much as I’m sad to be in the position of the forgotten from birth but I also mostly keep my focus on bands that has born with those advantages I have listed above. So why should I blame anyone if I could be stoned too? But I also have this idea that there are things what are just that good that they are irresistible no matter where they come from.

I really believe in songs and people and whatever else their cultural outputs are in a similar way as it was in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey where there was some higher power in people’s work that united everybody and brought utopia for the whole world. I truly believe in this that one day it will happen or if not we should strive to try to get it out from ourselves even if we die at one point of the process. This way all the beaten and forgotten and misfortune will find their way to rise up.

The reason why I love this zine is because it gives opportunity to people to be able to present their lives to the world. I think even I’m a good example for that cause, believe me, most of the people who see me wouldn’t even think that I’m being published in an international magazine and been read by others from all around the world. While I’m no different from you.

And I love that the people running this magazine are people who step out from this spotlight every day. They hide behind shitty jobs and don’t rush themselves to grow up. I just heard that people think I’m wasting my time with hanging with younger folks who mostly act like junkies and with setting up shows and why I don’t wanna grow up. Well the truth is even I get depressed sometimes of thinking I will at one point realize I was wasting my time with avoiding real life and now it’s too late and all I will have is to pine over my so called hey days spent with being a teen in my twenties and thirties.

But couple days ago while leaving my bathroom I looked into the mirror and found my reflection smiling back at me. I saw a man with a smile of a kid who still loves things that are meant nothing for the rest of the world and I want to keep that smile on that specific face. And it is just so fucking sad that people in punk are thinking I’m a deadbeat because I’m still a punk. What else should I be? I still love to do punk things, be among punx and to keep my punk attitude. It doesn’t mean I couldn’t order a fucking meal at a restaurant properly or deal with adult shit. Not growing up doesn’t mean I have to stay dumb or a useless child. Being punk and living a diy life means you are providing and doing an extra, smarter job to avoid selling out your soul without a safety net under your ass. Thus maybe we don’t ride jet skis as hobby but we spend that extra money which we never earn on not giving up our conscience. On that smile that shins back to you from the mirror.

Maybe I wear the cloths I do cause I like them. Not because these are the only ones I could afford or because I don’t care about the holes and rips and torns. I just like it this way. I love my denim jacket and I love that my friend made me a Dead Moon and D-Clone patch. My pin with the back cover of the salad days 7” and my tote bag with the cover of in a car 7” which was a gift from an amazing person. This is still a fanzine run by our common and mutual love for something that is still a threat otherwise there wouldn’t be people always everyday dying to prove it’s dead or we should grow up. Fuck the haters.

***

Skateboarding

Spring had been lost, here’s the summer. Mix tapes in my brain and denim jackets are covered with pins. Bars could go fuck themselves with their stupid law of smoking is forbidden inside and you can fall asleep at island cause you won’t freeze to death. Drunk hike through hills in the morning and trying to walk on water cause it’s a river and it will take me home quicker while I only need to stand still. Moving ground. Don’t tell me jesus was better than any of us. Fuck the hippies, always anyway. Punks have two official sports but one is just for transportation. I would love to ride a bike but I’m afraid of dying too much and I have pretty bad reflexes so city biking is out for me.

Skating for fun. For me skateboarding is the only punk sport and I swear this is not a fat wreck advertisement from the ‘90s.The two things (punk and skating) are so similar for me the simple joy and basic situation of being that annoying weird outcast, that person who still hasn’t cared too much of not being awkward. Mark Gonzales says in one interview with him that sometimes people look on the fact that he still does skate as if they were asking him “are you still playing with yoyo?” They don’t know. They have no idea how is it just to cruise around and sometimes reach higher than you can and try to Ollie up a curb and actually succeed with it and feel unstoppable. How much pleasure could that be. Just to be in the streets to always do something.

Skating is like you are constantly on tour with your favorite band. That band is you, yourself. You roll through life, the air is bursting into your face and you smile like a dog. You make noise, you move, you are in the street, you are part of everything and everything is an opportunity that you can use to have fun or express yourself which is basically fucking shit up that your stupid city built to cover the stupid reality and make tourists’ life a bit less boring. Still it’s up to you to decide what to do with what. And like with punk it’s just part of everyday enjoyment. It never gets old or you don’t go bored doing it. It’s beautiful like the poetry of the body and movements and speed and danger. The constant risk of falling.
It’s full with breaking boundaries and inventions, this thing was not built so people could flip down 12 stairs but somehow people didn’t give a fuck again about what they are supposed or not supposed to do and since then it’s just the magic that’s happening. And while people are almost killing themselves to deliver their stunts even folks rotting in parking lots skating around boom boxes on acid are sharing the joy of this amazing piece of wood and iron and rubber wheels.

***

punk as college

I have a business school degree. Won’t tell in which field cause it’s kinda embarrassing. I don’t wanna get fired from here but it’s almost that bad as if I were an intern for Vice. But sure the school taught me how to think like a manager. Business brain and shit. It helped me a lot. Being in bands since 16 with older guys (some were/are 10 years older than me) always meant I was the kid. In many cases I would have been the little guy patterned by my older brothers. But in reality while the other guys had their works, colleges and other shits I mostly just had free time. So I was mostly responsible to handle all the work with band stuffs. I was doing the mail orders, I was negotiating with printers, screeners, was sending out records to zines, booked shows, tours, manufactured records, while I was publishing and distributing my own zine and with the help of the college I could always realize how I could do things in a more logical, easier and better way. I’m operating things successfully without contracts just based on mutual trust, I have achieved all my dreams in my hobby which is punk. No wait, punk is my life, my love, punk love and thanks to education I could use some professionalism in doing my diy the best.

I don’t know any grammar, have speech impediment and a neurotic as much as I order pizza through internet cause I hate to phone. Still I write, I speak, I run shit and eat pizza every day. Punk is the best thing that has ever happened to me and sure it’s a hard job as well to convince people in the real world the things you have done under the ground are useful in their world as well, but just at a job interview for a multinational company many of the questions I got was about how I work in teams. Well for 10 plus years I do nothing else daily but try to be successful with other people in the things we do. Without a safety net. I have learnt from how a magazine is been published through how shirts are screened to how cut a tape into length at home and many other things too. Managing skills and shit.

What do you think people who run this magazine couldn’t be useful in a business environment? Punk is fucking nothing but problem solving and hardcore management. With the weirdest people who are sometimes the least motivated, very flakey and still we are here and everything is mostly alright. And if every idiot could do the work what punks are doing the world would be a better place.

This does not mean I wasn’t lucky. I was a bit but I had to work a lot before I could be lucky. It’s like maybe luck could lead you into circumstances you always wished to be in but when you have arrived then you’ll have to prove yourself if you don’t wanna fall out of luck. Also, never think that this hard work is just something that must be done. It’s fun when you are spending your nights and days and thoughts on your own shit cause this is what you are. Don’t be afraid to do things in the best possible way but keep in mind diy is the best possible way. Basically this all is just avoiding failing and believe me if you care you will succeed.

#362

I’m listening to so much good new music and new music that suits my state of mind nowadays that I  can hardly think about topics that would be worth to discuss here. Thus being smart or decide for you how to do punk is out of the game. No meaning, just nerding. Awkward raging but that isn’t true either. I feel like I have disappeared from my social life - still I was there when a friend of mine almost beat up some hip hop dj at 4 am with whom i I was smoking weed in the back of a bar - and think that everyone is having the blue around me. Truth is, I’m the only one who’s having hard times which in my mind are harder than in actual reality but total apocalypse hanging as a lure in front of me in my one-competitor dog race might indicate some radical changes about the way I survive life. Anyway this should be about music because hearing sounds are still the best thing in life. It’s sometimes funny. That how people think about you just because you could be the one to think about. I was listening to an Ian MacKaye Q&A and he said it’s really depressing and stupid what has happened to straight edge. It was his thing, it was a personal lyrics and now it’s a good excuse for people to call me and my friends drug addict fucking faggots. Dude you should try weed with beer and then tell me that it’s easy not to get at least half naked and make out with your best buddies. I find it funny how serious some people take our circle of friends aka the defekt scene just because I have written about it couple years ago here in the magazine. While it was just a personal report on Hungarian punk that I liked back thenFor some it’s sealed in cement ever since because this is bible. Like how shocked people are when I don’t know some legendary, musician, song, or band. Yeah I don’t know everything. First of all because I have a strangely functioning memory, second: when I’m listening to music I focus on  enjoying it rather than to learn it. For me it doesn’t matter when it was recorded, by whom neither what color of shirt was the producer wearing and in what type of chair he was pressing buttons and turning potmeters. Why should I give a fuck? I love how humans’ brains work that they are obsessed with information but why the fuck does it matter? For me it is just if I could connect to the music emotionally or not. That’s why I just said new music for my state of mind because I’m listening to lots of music that I have already owned or known about but lately I approach some of them differently  to how I did before. And this is how I like it. I don’t care about facts or trivias I love them when I care enough to memorise them but they won’t make music better to me. Shirts on the lp cover’s might but not the back information. I would fucking hate CIRCUS LUPUS if I knew Joan Jett was the producer for one of their records. I hate fucking rock and roll, that’s the last thing I wanna love. Alright I love the fact that Hüsker Dü was doing backing vocals on the first DYS record but for me this is when life becomes a mixtape. Some people just cram all the informations that are available into their heads and others just try to understand the basics of the subject. It is like how acting works. In some movies you see people play a character while in the best movies you see people being filmed, who by the way are actors. There’s a difference between transforming into another person or just acting in a role. So for me the best bands are not just playing songs because they have learnt notes and figured out how three tunes fit together but because they play themselves, they have something that could be told through instruments or through screaming like a baby. And I can enjoy the fact that Crass put out Minor Threat in the UK but mostly because I love both bands and adore their connection even if their music sounds different. But I only have vague ideas about the exact date of this release cause does it really matter? It’s just their music that sounds different, not what and how they do it. It could be called pear or could be called apple what matters at the end is how they taste. And I have no idea what color that girl’s eyes were I just remember how I felt when I looked into them. Quoting Modern Lovers here it’s that power that matters. I’m in love with that.

There are just too many things in life that I wanna do in a really short time. To mash everything together and have that elevated fun. I have this will to do basic stuffs. Like write again a zine about music and about how fun is it to fall in love with bands or just one of their songs. I wanna go down to a rehearsal room and jam with a drummer with me playing guitars blasting out simply raw hardcore songs. Like Faith demos, mixed with no wave New York falling apart shit, with Beach Blvd total drugged up youth drying dead on the sun, entertaining nihilism. I listened to the first Mika Miko lp and that sounded like this. While it’s just simple noise made by awesome people. This is it what I’m looking for, complex things in simple cases. I want people to play power chords the way I can hear through their shredding that they love million bands and still they have found their peace in playing infinite adolescent punk songs. I want to listen to bands that sound like bootlegged Neos shirts or reading coffee stained novels after midnight in your bed but in a coat. I want this collapsing cottage to be my shelter. I wanna disappear and live forever as a footnote. If anything being a fan of punk music made me, is a recluse, but I love this solitude. It has become fun to act for the outsiders like I don’t have a life, I don’t have thoughts or things I like just so I don’t have to blow my cover of being a fan of crazy damaged music and radical ideas of surviving life. Or living it. Nowadays I’m getting confused by it. But I have high hopes. Cause as how it happened with music I believe that there’s gonna be a point where the stone wall of bullshit will just break and through it’s cracks the real things will come out. Some guy called me up if I want insurance for the flat I live in and I told him no, and as a reply for his question why? I told him because I live like a 16 years old. He then asked me to hand the phone to my parents but I corrected him. I’m not 16 I just live like one. And it felt good just to blow my cover to rise above the bullshit. To tell him how all this game will go but I won’t be a part of it. This is what I look for in music as well to stop the bullshit, to be brave enough to be freaks. I’m jamming Finnish spunk and Fall and weird post hardcore punk records like Middle Class’ Homeland lately. I’m siked for the new Sickoids record and will be amazing to have them here in Budapest, get drunk with them. Good Throb is my jam, so Crass-like but more concrete of what they are angry about. Crass is articulated for sure but they sounded like they are playing music for the whole world while Good Throb is yelling against assholes. Also avant-garde-ish bands like Pink Military or Raincoats. The whole world is a mixtape if I have enough space for everything to fade into each other. And the worst fucking shit happened: I started to listen to some jazz musicians but even though they are technically more advanced than the punk players, I love, in a way how this chaotic „we play against each other, we play what we want, we play ourselves with instruments” method could click with the total teenage angst music that is the kick drum for my heart. But don’t believe it’s progression. I still don’t like it that I can appreciate some crazy tunes and I mostly love it’s benefit to get my focus improved when I look on my music. Maybe it’s a better thing to be open to new tunes or realize their greatness than learn all the useless infos about bands you should love. Fuck everything that is mandatory.

So many great records have come out lately, this means 2013 will be a joy ride of a year of listening to punk and used-to-hang-out–with-punx-but-now-rather-have-buddies-as-pr agents bands. Even if I think Church Whip’s excuse for naming their tour what they had, and while I hate it when people just shrug their shoulders when it comes to people might get offended and hurt – for real I even hate bands being named after rapists, murders and criminals - I also think stating that something stupid over a whole coast is like when you say fuck everybody, that’s a usual but still stupid punk sentence while saying fuck a specific group of everybody is just as dumb as racism. So on one hand I think what they got, they have deserved it. Open a bottle and don’t be surprised when something might spill out. I also think that the new Merchandise lp is just soo good and dreamy it starts to grow on me. Hope they won’t be lived up by shit culture. I just recently saw The Men and it was sad as fuck. A band that used to be interesting with mixing almost everything that is good in guitar music has become a band that plays alt rock country bullshit, American dream in Dylan shirts and just a band who plays a type of music or tries to keep up with a trend not creating their own sound. They played for mid level managers and for people who drank their cocktails with straws. Maybe it was just me who was enchanted for no reason from the start but at least I have woken up. New Milk Music is mellow as well but cool too. Even if it’s a bit more rockish and mostly stays on mid tempo rather than how raw and more straight ahead they were on their previous records. Even if I suspect some tricks I can indulge myself in this living for the moment cause everything else is shit but „hey, I still got some pot and dumpster dived pizza so let’s party” sound. They are not doing something new or original still it seemed people were hungry for their full lenght lp. And I could no longer say it was anticipated because finally the music was played again by whom noise should be played. They toured Europe with a fucking plane. They are not making anything new still it’s refreshing to have a band this simple. They don’t lie about  their music, it sounds like the lp cover for Beyond Living. Total nihilism. It’s for you to make you swing your hair around the room. I’ve heard lots of lame things about them but I’m not innocent either. Is there a better proof of that your band is playing awesome music than having a really stupid name as Milk Music still no one cares about it’s goofiness really? They sound like artificial nostalgia. They create long time sweet memories of events that you only wish have happened. And here they are with their grand work, a perfected rock record that sounds like a dream of a pot head locked into his room with the will to write songs about his whole world which is basically his room. It sounds like late night music for those who worked the whole day or haven’t worked for ages. They have lost their rawness but they seem to stretch out as far as they wanted and luckily not further. It’s just a great rock record that still carries some of the dirt of their past. No, Nothing, My shelter sounds like the never ending story sequel where that boy flies with the dog what looks like a rug. Here’s also the new Gun Outfit. Which is amazing for sure. I was raving about that band here before and they still have it or have it even more. Making epic soundtrack for the spoiled american dream, of how the sun forms all of us, it really sounds like people in confusion among doing something and there is that creative power that gets us out of bed but also that fear of failure in the real world. So imagination creates this shield that is a moment of fragile innocence. Hard Skin always as fun as hell but catchy as hell, like if they have figured out the right formula to write amazing oi songs by listening to decade of amazing punk. Just perfect and everybody was right that there are too many bands whose name start with S, lately I’m nerding out on total hardcore trash of Society Nurses and Stoic Violence. And these are just the new records. I just love everything that is filth and failure based punk music. And I ran out of space.  

this column was edited by the amazing Dori Radics who is a hairdresser on fire in London. Go visit her: The Rabbit Hole - Vegan Hair Parlour

Note to the underground

In this current issue due to a funny mistake under my header in the space where i should ramble there is another columnist’s piece on, well I haven’t seen it yet, but probably it's about japan, finnish punk or squatting around London. So yeah only my broken face is featured in #361. Although I had sent in my writing and already have a new one (that was supposed to appear in #362). But not to lose anything my columns as well as my blog will be in a month delay due to this minor thing. Putting together the magazine is a hard work so I don’t blame anyone. I luv them. It’s more like how unlucky I am.

#360

Almost three months in this year and one of my first favorite memories by far and not just exclusively from this is year tripping on mushrooms in my living room with a friend who was sticking herself into our sofa while we tried to figure out what this weird NUTS fanzine poster is supposed to be that hangs on my wall and that scared look on my flat mate’s face because he was our lookout. Poor guy at one point we pretended we trip that he is made out of cheese and we will fucking eat him. Fun times. He did not end up in a fondue. 
How much do we have to wait? The new PISSED JEANS is so good but it came out at Sub Pop just as BEACH HOUSE did. Another band I love but for different reasons. We can love bands like the KINKS and such cause time made it irrelevant to care about their economic surroundings. They made money and probably in some fancy drug daze they have treated women shitty or beaten the shit out of boys on expensive hotels. And yes Kinks never said they are associated with punk thus they never really backstabbed anyone. Just as Obama never said he is punk he just sounds too close to a HAVE HEART song filled with esoterical bullshit. Still we blame him. But my friend was right Honeys sounds like the agony of a heroin addict who is choking in his own puke on a burning mattress. I know filthier records for sure but it’s just one that you feel that’s fine enough. It’s a record that cleans all the other dirt or just puts them under the rug so you don’t care about it. It’s filth that covers treasure. And it is set in an office environment. Hope someone will explain that this is total corporate bullshit and as Family Guy makes racism kinda ok and funny or decreasing it to a level of not such a big deal because it’s a part of our everyday life and personalities thus shoving it down in our throats Pissed Jeans’ rants against having an office job just making us believe it sucks but since now you can relate to it this could help you then because it doesn’t suck that much cause after all you can tell yourself ‘wow this is me as well and me is good songs after all’. In a way this makes it easier to me to find a job where I don’t have to swallow dust all day and be in cold. So maybe they have evil intentions but for me they just coated sugar on shit and I believe it’s marzipan. I could just think about from a CRO MAGS song now I’m turning my life into a Pissed Jeans song. But my friend who just started working at a company where she has nothing to do all day just stare and look busy, she say it’s the worst. Don’t know hopefully will find out. All I know is that lately I’m hooked on food porn what I watch for eating veggie filled sandwiches and I have the desire again to buy records and I just bought a REALLY RED lp for like 40 dollars which was basically a good deal still I rather buy music than actual records so it is a 30 year old oval shaped plastic thing on my shelf being more worthy with every day passes by but I felt good when the music was blasting and it felt like the price was fair cause this record is that cool. Actually I bought the record on the same day we took mushrooms. I paid for my fandom, for the music not for the time it has been existing and not for how rare it is but for that now I feel even with them. Still it’s a lot of money especially here, especially for me. But anyway. Luckily it seems I will receive some free music in the upcoming months so let the money roll. Never thought such things could happen to me at one point – getting free shit - and today I even made a deal on I will get paid over having free tickets if I write about the upcoming SWANS show. I’m still not planning to be a writer cause that profession is lame. It’s not good when your sacred thing what you like to do for fun becomes the thing you have to do so you can buy food and keep your apartment. Job seeking is hell especially if you feel like you are a stupid 16 year old who have to prove himself to adults in a cruel second world country with a fucked up market. But since the gates are open now I only care about the upcoming national record swap where I wanna throw money out on everything. First THIS HEAT lp? Gimme that shit along with some NEU!. Guess I will just find and buy some Kinks records or if Sid Vicious will be with me NEW ORDER or BUZZCOCKS. But This Heat and Neu! are music that is fucking weird but simple cause I can understand it as well. Like SWELL MAPS. Music from instinct. Those tribal kinda sounds and noises of our surroundings, let it be nature or just a flat with dripping water pipes and a bouncing heating system. When music surrounds you and it’s not just, ‘this-is-the-beginning, here-comes-a-bridge, that’s-the-chorus-and-that-was-the-end’. When each titles just mark the minutes and songs are blending into something cohesive when music is a tool like actual music not the lyrics but the sounds and they are used for representing nature, people, feelings, everything. These sounds help me appreciate many other bands who are more classical in their music writing method. There I could find in some of their rhythms and brief noises and feedbacks a whole world. Probably I’m projecting my beliefs on these minor moments of sounds but I don’t care about truth when it comes to be entertained because I can believe in my own universe. It’s like being under the influence of mushrooms you just believe it and you feel happy then cause it seems so real like not just being different but another. I fell in love with aspirin feast while I toke a stroll to a grocery store this night through the rain soaked streets. Had no idea they were around at the end of the 80s and begging of the 90s. The 90s seem to be miss known in many heads including mine to be all about over the edge shitty bands in almost every music and acts like born against saved the whole decade. As always when you know something universal sooner or later it will turn out the only thing you should be sure about is you are dumb as fuck. Good thing about our culture is it’s full with hidden gems that makes everything fresh and permanent cause something that has been recorded even before we were born could sound like something that haven’t been existed until now when we hear it. Just take DEATH. They have appeared from out of nowhere and with their amazing we do what we want because what we do is right-ish jams they made us wonder what if this would always appeared in the history of punk thus it would have formed the then future now past bands into different directions. But they just become the best band that has never mattered cause we have forgotten them and when they came back everybody was enthusiastic like it’s a fresh band that just got together a year ago.
Not just trips on substances make me siked but trips to buy veggies. I went to the market for Jerusalem artichoke and brussel sprouts and beets, food I’m obsessed with nowadays, in beautiful spring weather. That made me feel like, everything is kinda shit lately in many parts of my life but sometimes if I change my focus and other aspects of this whole it could make me appreciate life then even if sometimes i feel sad but i see something or encounter something while I’m out that is just good, like a painting on a wall, a tree, how the clouds are, someone who does something, something that belongs to nature but included in the universe and I just feel that after all this life and this planet is not that bad. Because there are those little things you just lose yourself in them and even if it's just for a moment then it feel infinite. And I just felt right buying all the food and walking around and taking the tram and thinking about what will I cook and how I will send my mom the recepies, along with my ideas on the movie that is the topic of our weekly film club. I was listening to the first Sods lp while I was on my way din gall these and it just grabbed me. I spent a lot of time the week before reading about how lame Iceage is. I know, I have seen them and then the magic just disappeared even if i got hooked before the first lp came out and a bit after it as well. But SODS is just sooo better and not just because they are earlier or because unlike being a novelty act they could morph into SORT SOL and still could keep their goodness but because even Minutes To Go is just a brilliant record that ranges from sharp kbd punk hits through weird fucking cold punk that sounds like machine man are gifted with hearts and now bothered by the reality of how being a human kinda sucks screaming for their desired love and there’s a desperate dub-ish song that is more violent and desolated than SPECIALS’ Ghost Town but about the same topic and it just stomps my head with the feelings of this record is still relevant and it ends with so many crazy guitar jams what are just worming in my brain around and around forming an infinite sign. So good. There are too many records that by time could grow on me and the treatment i get from weird music that makes me appreciate music in the different way like MEAT PUPPETS’ Up on the Sun which is like proto DESTRUCTION UNIT’s second era krautrock in the desert but unlike Destruction Unit, Meat Puppets go nowhere, it’s just perfect sitting around getting high music (inserting a quick critique here I like Sonar better than Void, I mean the record, not the band cause i love VOID over everything but pizza) and WIRE’s Chairs Missing. I always was Pink Flag and later dance-able era but yesterday finally I sat down and realized what kind of amazing thing Chairs Missing is.  Used to with being that weird lullabies song like Sound on Sound or crazy hit like Gilbeau. Feels like sooner or later every good band’s every record will just turn out to be right. But I don’t wanna like jazz era SACCHARINE TRUST. And i was listening to fucking classical music lately but thanks to the guitar sound of KORO i couldn’t really dig myself into it too deeply. But I’m kinda afraid I’m getting close to understand jazz and i hate this. Cause naturally I think we need things to hate on. Some opposite to what we believe in. I don’t wanna wind up like that dude who thinks there are two kinds of music good and bad. But it’s not true, you never should become objective when it comes to things that could be liked or hated. That’s the end of everything either to not care enough cause professionals are cold headed or not care because who gives a fuck. Irony and apathy are the enemies for sure.
I rather be that guy who thinks SUPER WILD HORSES is amazing and their debut lp is still on my playlist. It’s a record only could be made by girls. So cool, so dreamy and it gives us a sight into a secret better world. With all their small moments that they share you can feel people are really there, their secrets, their lives, their nights with falling asleep in coats half drunk at parties on dirty sofas and that slashing cloudy guitar sound that embraces me while I swing on my sofa hitting my thigh and smiling into my beer. The fucking spring is here and I have to have it in my head as well.
also I think I’m doing too much stuffs cause last night I have seen Get Him to the Greek and it felt like I’m watching some Hanake movie and I almost cried.
My friend just put out his solo d-beat record ( http://diskobra.bandcamp.com/ ). This is the end.