even in case i'm burning please don't piss on me

After many wasted with watching tv and snacking years I finally made a zine in English in last year’s summer. Mostly to make some money on tour so I can buy lunch and beer. And because I hate everything that is limited I offer now all my thoughts in forms of deranged sentences to the digital world. Here you are seekers of my mind. Most of the words were typed during a 2 weeks long storm. Mostly drunk, after midnight. The zine I made before this has a foreword written by my friend who plays now in the band Rákosi but he was my self-help consultant with his previous band RedlineOffside when I was 14, growing up. Doing the same again I wanted to ask my other friend Kuti to write me a foreword but he rather chose hanging out at weird places talking to too fancy ladies. So I wrote a foreword myself. Here it is together with the whole fanzine. I was hesitating on whether I should upload the pdf version to some online document browser platform but the zine has naked pictures of me being a kid and I would miss my parents if FBI put them in jail.

EICIBPDPOM - foreword

EICIBPDPOM - raving / raging

I was watching this awesome show. The band played fun type of hardcore. I think late era Negative Approach’s sound is after all just so much fun, fun, fun. Not to laugh at but when I’m listening to it I won’t feel like I need to go down the streets to get into fights or prove my credibility of being a survival of the hood. Not even wanna wear a pair of boots. Maybe the most aggressive thing what occurs me while hearing it is grabbing my friends’ leatherjackets and shaking them by those. I saw this once in the back of a kebab restaurant in germany and the image is haunting me ever since. Yeah that is perfect fun. Or just drink beer and witness again with my eardrums the total chaotic and also wildlife rage of such bands and how compact they’re delivering it. The only thing that sticks to punk in my head as a denial of something is that punk can’t be enjoyable after 16 if you’re not dumb. Fuck those who say they’re grown out of it. Just like them who were too lazy or stupid to find other music that they can listen to because they accidently forced themselves into few bands when they were young. And now looking on this as a used to be a good thing. Lazy bastards. So the band played this kind of music. Forever fun hard as fuck core but with that much visceral pleasure what the early Agnostic Front records had. When they played such fast and amateurish that I’m cheering for them all the time not to drop their instruments out of enthusiasm and of the chase to finish the song all together at the same time. Sometimes some sound tracks are racing with others. It’s so awesome and geeky while they try to be total jocks. How cute is this? Like when little kids run around with their blankets on their backs imagining themselves to be costumed superheroes. And there was this girl drinking beer in her golden outfit completely disrespecting the heritage of the inventors of pogo dancing. She moved like it was a party cause it was a band playing for young people on a Friday night. We all know what is bad, then why would a weekend have to be infected with problem raising and failure of solving any of those. Bad capitalism and muscular people who take Skrewdriver serious. Fuck the cops and manipulators of the scene. As that girl danced I just watched her and through her that show was dreamy and punk had become meaningful. Dancing is just fun and good music is fun, fun, fun as well. What if the two don’t fit perfectly? It means you don’t care about bullshit conventions. It’s not about freedom it’s about having a huge fucking fun. Why people love pogo dance moves? Because they’re mindless. They are shy so to avoid possible awkwardness they just force their joy into established movements. Why do some people only watch shows from the background not moving a bit? Maybe their backs hurt or they like to drink beer more than dancing. The point of long hair is to shake my head and feel how good it is to bang a head. Go in front of stages and have seizure there. With long hair every piece of hair is just another reason to listen to music that is bangable. Up and down or side by side. Long hair blocks some sounds of the headphone, thus makes every sound a little bit distant and more mysterious. Like how could that girl love if she writes these amazing lyrics and sings them the way she does? It’s a mystery how could Nico loved. And my hair just makes it more obscure. This is the key to music, the imaginations of the players and the visions of the situations all in the heads of the listeners. It’s the best thing that could happen to my brain. How could that girl love who danced to oi influenced hardcore? And she wasn’t a skinhead. She looked more like a raver. A type of person I’d like to show music so she can show me her crazy dance moves. Or just tell her how cool some bands are and she would smile on me for being crazy to tell her about my latest findings of awesome punk music. I lost interest writing this. I wanna meet cool girls around great music.

EICIBPDPOM - career

I made a lot of money that summer. I had several jobs and other things. One of the other things was that I sold copies of my childhood pictures to pedophiles. When I was young Michael Jackson was a big thing and I always liked some aspects of dancing though I’m a really lazy guy. So what I did was that I hold my penis all the time as a tribute to Jacko. I hold it in school, on the streets, once on a funeral of one of my grand mom’s sister and his war-criminal husband. There’s a yearful or two photos of me touching my penis sometimes without pants. I sold them to pedophiles. The cops tried to bust me but I’m a grown up who sold those pictures about himself being a kid. With a dick in his hands but whatever. Other than this I was helping old ladies up on the escalator at a subway station. There I met a nun and she offered me a job. She knew my window faced a satanic cult’s weekly rituals cause I told her but she had a really bad case of hearing and thought I was actually in that cult. So she offered me a job to work for the catholic church. My job was to watch movies, read books and listen to music. Cause as she put it, it already doesn’t matter at all what happens to my soul. And she knew about my weak link to pedophiles so she thought I would make a great fit for her employers. Basically I had to write reviews but in the context of a catholic person. And if needed what kind of protest strategies I’m recommending. I was among the few critics that really mattered and wasn’t just a person who’s telling about his opinions on things. I don’t know why but they told me this. Around that time I was drinking too much home distilled brew I started hallucinating and actually joined the satanic cult that had gatherings in front of my window. We burned plastic and painted pictures of goats. I didn’t really see the point. Satan just sounded like a jock. This red muscular dude who’s fucking with people just because they had fun with doing exactly the same what he would do. That’s what bothers me about the subcultures that exist in spite of something. What they created to believe in, in opposite of what they hate is just creepier than what I should hate. I just don’t care about bullshit. I care about having fun and not being bothered. I quit all my jobs and duties. I only needed the money so I can maybe be with the girl I love. But she lives far away from me. And at least being around her is not really bothering me. I don’t care about distance either. I left the cult and it was the last straw for them to broke up and the hill in front of my window became a place where people brought prostitutes in their cars. I suspect the catholic church knew it was coming. The things we hate always smarter then we are. The things that aren’t are just sad. Now I have to face people having intercourses. For what guys are paying huge money. Looks like some people would do anything just to get laid.

EICIBPDPOM - random

EICIBPDPOM - great cop

Cops are retarded so if you can do one thing be it that you won’t be a cop. Thus you won’t be retarded. I know not everyone is like you and it’s frustrating as shit. But if there’s something you don’t like to see then there’re 359 other options to look on somehow different and if there’s something you don’t wanna hear there are always your fingers to put them into your ears or your palms to cover your eyes. Carrying about things that suck and people who are dumb or just badly dressed or eat what you think is not cool is just so lame, a waste of time and yeah a retarded occupation. The more you think someone is a stupid ass and you still care about it then I’m sorry but you’re even dumber. That’s why making a thing out of it is even worse. That’s what cops do. They don’t like me wearing hoodie at night walking in zigzag so they check my IDs and ask me stupid questions like if I have something with me that I’ve stolen. That’s what they do. And what does a scene cop? Checks out how same punk someone is who him or her finds as an opposite, a disgust. I know how fucking disturbing is to live among complete idiots. I really do. But if i’m sick of it i just do my own thing. I create something what i like. Not care with other shit i find pointless. I hang with people who i find interesting or true not arguing with complete assholes. Cause i’m not a textbook to teach someone something. I’m not even writing this to make a change. I’m writing this cause most of the zines are boring me and I encounter so many assholes so to balance the shitty thing and the great things I try to create great things. Bad things are amazingly good for one specific thing, to make something better. I can’t do anything with amazing stuff except I could totally admire it. But it isn’t influences me just locks my mind. Maybe it sounds self-righteous but I rather embrace my thoughts then push buttons against people who truly depress me. If you wanna be angry on stupid people and only care about them then either set up a mean website what makes comments on people or have a stroke. I’m a cop too. I force myself to only care about the cool shit.

EICIBPDPOM - music

EICIBPDPOM - where's the punchline?

EICIBPDPOM - essay on bullshit # 1/ epiphanies

If I wanna be honest my favorite kind of movies are the horrible ones. Not the bad flicks but what would creep out other people just because what they see are so true or they think it’s weird just because shows too much of life. We’re too used to beautiful people do everything even what never was their business. That’s why we honor ugliness as much as we treat it as truth. It’s the same with music. I can’t watch that many horrible movies and i only can listen to a little more bad records but I know I could create both really well. The only thing is. Making bad stuff needs guts. Punk was an adjective always but was used for shitty things. Cause back then it was just horrible music next to the professional crap that ruled poor mislead people’s ears. Now it’s not. Sometimes it’s good other times I like it as well cause I like punk music. But I can tell you the most magic happens on the terrible records. The ones what belong to once good bands. The best bands. Terrible things need to have some connection to goods otherwise I wouldn’t care about them. That’s why I couldn’t call them terrible only irrelevant. Being a sell out and writing bad music it doesn’t hurt me. I can let it go. It’s not me who changed or it’s not me who makes a wrong turn. It’s a bit disappointing sometimes. I mean who would like to see a used to be good band perform their bad songs for a crowd full of douchebags? Sometimes that’s what happens. The only thing I have the will to fight for is maybe my friends and whoever I’m in love with. I think I’m in love with someone for almost 10 years. I haven’t seen her for almost a year but who cares. I don’t wanna let it go. Cause at least I’m in love. But listening to good music is so much easier then give your heart an other meaning what is different than just an organ. If you heard good music just once in your life you don’t have to worry about you’ll hear something terrible. Cause there’s always an escape. I have been in bands and even though I only sing I’ve been there at the rehearsals almost all the time cause I just love to see how songs have been put together from the beginning. And the only thing a band should never say is “well, they might not like it”. I need to believe that bands write bad songs cause they like them or it’s the only way they can express themselves. Being bad and boring not always means you want to fit in with the trend. Sometimes it is indicated by the trend and maybe prison rape is sadder than this case. But playing boring music needs guts. By time people only accept self expression if it comes with originality. But as time goes ahead it just gets harder. While anyone should have the opportunity to express themselves the way they want, the majority of it will be just boring or clichéish. So what? It will turn out that the world is a boring place? No, cause thousands of boring bands existing and providing boring music is just fun fun fun. I think craziness is a huge field that very poorly exploited. When I was younger I thought late era Black Flag sucked. While now I’m in love with it. I thought they went crazy and maybe they did for real but late era Black Flag is just pure awesomeness. Their early songs are amazing too. But most of them are just amazing songs one after another while their late stuff is so complex and a whole record just feels like only one big number. And when I’m only listening to one song from that era it feels like a whole album. It gathers so many things up. All the uncomfortable things what in those records became features I’m glad that I had or still have. I can appreciate loneliness if it comes along with the appreciation of Black Flag. I used to think Descendent sucked but they doesn’t. Their weird songs are almost their best. I thought Bad Brains sucked beginning with I against I and I think I’m right. But SSD’s and DYS’ rock records and the second Antidote release, Into the Unknown, all these really terrible records. Jesus should die again for these. I can’t stop smiling on how stupid and lame these albums are and how crazy they had to go to write these. And how cool it is that they actually did it?! I think that the world is just a beautiful place with all it’s fucked up things in it. All the bad ideas, and creepy results just make everything more interesting. There’s beauty in every fucked up situation. I realized that when I was watching a Ratos De Porao show with a plastic bag full of cheap beer in Czech republic. One of the most beautiful shows I’ve ever seen. It was long, they were old but still I loved every minute. It was as beautiful as a dead baby who chocked in her aids infected crackwhore mother’s vomit. I don’t think that there’s a god and even if there is it wouldn’t create such scenes. So we people do such horribly outrageous things with each other but it just makes our existence one of the most complex and interesting thing in the galaxy. I realized that while watching a chubby brazilian guy showing and shaking his old tongue. I felt like I’ve been awakened. I was around so many weirdly too cool people. They seemed to be too right. I didn’t care. I realized at that moment seeing a beautiful girl in a Void shirt is just awesome. And I’m probably never gonna know her. So in my head she loves Void and United Mutation and No Trend and all this mutant-core and other sub-genres’ cool bands. The truth might could spoiled this image in my head but I’m not gonna care about other people’s truth when I could care about mine. I’ve learned there that I should just appreciate everything that looks and sounds good. And look on bad things as parts of the whole madness. Now I can appreciate almost everything for some time.

EICIBPDPOM - SH

EICIBPDPOM - sophie's choice of the year

Those old folks were talking on the radio about lists. About the nature of people making lists. One said it’s the conquer of infinity to shrink the good things from all the things into one list. Sometimes I’m just worried for people when they have to write up a top 10 list and they cheat with adding more to it. They make Sophie’s choice from writing names under each other. And feel like betrayed themselves when they accidently leave out some of the better bands they had listened to. Poor people look on a list as something what have to be taken as serious like a rule or choice between two child actors. Feeling weird cause they don’t know the exact answer and it’s order. And eternity just conquers them. I’m not worried anymore. I leave it open to give a chance for anything to come in. At least that’s what I think. And culture while it’s sometimes boring as shit never really could make damages which would worth to avoid them. If the door is open it’s easy to kick shitty things out. It’s an amazing feeling when things come together, mix together and create something new without rules and rational orders. Or just work together, after each other I don’t know. See I don’t take writing a fanzine that serious that I write down “I don’t knows” like I would just talking. Forgetting things only shows how human i am and as does fucking up orders. It doesn’t matter now what is my favorite band if I’m not listening to it. Someone really could decide whether it’s Minor Threat or early Bad Brains? And maybe I like Embrace the most then One Last Wish on second and Rites of Spring the least from all the amazing revolution summer pre-fugazi bands but truly so what? Even if I’m listening to Rites Of Spring I’m not wondering on how better Embrace is. It maybe just makes me listen to other music that somehow fits for Rites of Spring at least in my head. My favorite type of shows are when I can believe the band who plays is the only and best band in the world. And there’s just me and them. The best thing in this modern ultra fast informational world is, I can be anywhere and everything can be here in my head. I could imagine million places and times where it would be cool to be but isn’t it cooler that now all could happen right after each other? If i were closer to cool I still would miss huge part of them with just letting these chances pass me by. And besides that one can say, “yeah I was there, I only needed to take a bus to see everything” is it really matter? Luckily I’ve seen so many of my favorite bands and it would be great to see the rest but at a point it would be just tiring and I couldn’t care to move out. But I don’t think the common sense in me would ever make me stop to listen to awesome bands when the only thing I have to do for it is to switch on my stereo.

EICIBPDPOM - essay on bullshit # 2 / speed thoughts

I’m not gonna lie. Punk is all about speed and the dizziness in the brain. Cause I’m one of those arm chair freaks who probably overestimate the importance of brain I don’t do drugs that fast me up. Cause I’m a big coward that’s why. I usually get so drunk that I throw up into my own mouth and have to run around in strange apartments to find the toilet just to get rid of the vomit among my wonderfully white teeth. I’m capable of this. That’s how self-conscious I am. Maybe I could handle speed if I wanna rush. No wait. I totally could. I’m not doing lsd because I’m afraid. I don’t do speed cause it doesn’t interest me that much. Cause who the fuck wanna rush at nights, the only specific part of the day when I could get speed for free? I enjoy the total victorious feeling of being awake even after how much I’ve drunk and how long I’m still up. Also when I went to high school I loved to come home exhausted and just fell half asleep with midday talk shows on and have the televised reality and my half conscious mind react and sometimes I was speaking with the guests on the shows.
But really if I wanted pace I would like it around the most useless hours like 3 pm to 4 pm. When everything is just there to let me down because there’re only things i can be sorry for. With the pale lights of the day and people connecting to life so much different than I do. Today I scanned old photos of my family. My favorites were the ones which had my far far none blood related whomever who is schizophrenic because she listened to a religious radio station too much. There’s just something really interesting in her expressionless face. Then I drank coffee and went to buy a bottle of wine for my father’s upcoming birthday which is the exactly same day as Hitler’s death day, listening to Sonic Youth and the Nerves in new shoes what I found heavy and finally just in a t-shirt that’s how warm the air was. Caffeine overdose is like a flower. With sun-beams and good circumstances like middle era Sonic Youth the material in my blood opens up in my head as the most magical feeling. This is not about drinking materials. It’s about fast paced thoughts with slow motion walking in the sun and listening to amazing guitar outruns. Or homeruns or whatever that translates the sound’s vibration which is shockingly similar to a heart’s race after running a marathon. I’ve spent this afternoon with failing to fix a mix tape for a party I’d like to but will not attended. Still I imagined the soundtrack in the background of drunk kitchen conversations of european contact exchanging and great songs. None of us is doomed enough for something interesting to happen with us. But that’s alright. Somehow punk will destroy our weak bodies. I’m not punk because I always was and am weak. I became weak cause I didn’t give a shit about my body image and found sitting around and hanging more fun than running around. So music will destroy me. The caffeine I toke to make Wipers more effective and the headphones what makes everything sound better. The weight that my ears have to bear and my brain what shrinks so the sounds can have enough space. Ok it’s not true or I hope it’s not and this wasn’t my ironic and fatal sentence. Fuck I just have so many great images and activities and people and places which I could connect with or through music and because I’m writing this it’s obvious that I feel the need to get things out of my head while the things inside my head are the best things ever because they are all mine and I’m not ashamed of my thoughts. Sometimes it feels that what I need is not writing it out but to collect them into one place. That’s why I need the speed to have them all at the same exact time. Like now i’m a bit overdosed myself with it. I mean them. Caffeine and my adored thoughts. The need to put something cool into this empty world. So now i’m feeling like i’m right in that world where Flipper records are relevant. It’s so claustrophobic cause i’m surrounded with fuzziness and everything is just flashing around in my head, i really have to focus even on a such simple thing as pissing right into the toilet. Right. I’d like to call all my friends, have them here where we eat cold spaghetti and warm ice cream and watch apocalypse now redux version while spinning records above it. Selecting music for the scenes because we all know what they on the screen say, think and hallucinate. We’d roll around the floor shirtless not wanting the earth to open. Or have a dance party to Rudimentary Peni. Stole skateboards from the cheap pot dealer who lives on the third floor. And have night sessions with a boom box blasting Wire. I sucked in skating and after I broke my hand into two pieces I gave it up and went too far with punk. Still I have dreams with riding. It’s almost as cool when I dream with girls who I love. Sometimes I just imagine things while awake.
I love my neighborhood. It always reminds me to raise the question what were my parents thinking. They delivered me into the last three years of the soviet union. And they had no idea it will ever end. Furthermore they lived in deep poorness. And when i was around 5 or 4 we got here where I live now. The national and practically only tv channel had a daily soap opera that was filmed here. And we got here. Kinda amazing. Cause in every second episode there were youngsters in leatherjackets trying to beat up everyone, rob old people, rape young ladies. Mafia wanted to take over all the tiny grocery stores in every corner and everyone was ordering or buying cognac in every 5 minutes. Of course there was this guy from the orphanage working the shittiest jobs, who always stepped in and saved whoever needed it. Then he drank some cognac. The irony is that one of the things i’ve learnt to work is his job. But it’s not that important. What raises the question in me is my parents saw every day what this neighborhood is like. Full of violence, rookies in capitalism, drug dealers, nazis, catholic priests, house policy obsessed stuck up sons of bitches. Still we got here and i have to say it’s not just one of the safest places in such a safe town but most of the times it just seems dead to me. And i fucking love it. Walking all alone at nights being amazed by no one is around is just so perfect for an outsider like i’m. Basically I could be that evil guy who needs to be beaten up cause I might not have a leatherjacket on the outside but I constantly wear it everyday inside. And of course I wanna steal things from every grocery store and make sweet love to all the ladies. But you see I don’t have time for these cause I’m too busy walking around and pretending that I’m from another planet staring on everything like they are new to me. Nowadays i like to dress up for these brief walks as an inbreed son of a happy family incest. It gives me the false feeling of freedom. Also i could buddy up with the guys who dress the same but not as a joke or conscious choice just out from their nature. It means i’m backed up by an army of schizophrenics. Like it would be needed. Cause my neighborhood has no one around after 8 pm. And everything fits when I’m out all alone in this world. Yeah I see lights burning in some flats but it doesn’t mean anything. It never does.

EICIBPDPOM - three stories

EICIBPDPOM - melon shake

EICIBPDPOM - girls & boys

I try to see no big mystery and tactics behind simple and true love. Girls fall for boys who go to them and don’t start to talk shit too soon. That’s it. And boys just wanna express their gratitude for almost everything even for a smile or for a handkerchief and mostly for girls being so awesome. The only way we can think of: by shoving our penises into all possible holes. The only thing that fucks this up is assholes who want to put their genitals into everything we’ve found precious and they do it without a grateful feeling. And that just sucks. The other thing is which makes assholes not the only thing: We all are single individuals. And sometimes it hurts so much to accept things not always turn out the way we think they should when the situation has more than one person. This creates great songs. The frustration, the sadness or the irony of how life works. Still we stare on everything that hangs from their bodies. Legs, arms, breasts and asses. And it might be frustrating. I guess I will never really know why but it’s alright cause i never should. It’s girls’ secret and secrets make them more adorable. Once a guy started to dry hump my shoulder on a night bus but I thought it was funny. Other times weird old gay men wanted to hook me up or drunk punks wanted to kiss me but I found it flattering and at the same time I always told them right away that I’m straight. I guess a girl couldn’t really say no to everyone who she won’t fuck just because they looked on her glow. And being afraid of rape should be a horrible thing. I creeped out some poor girl once cause I always walk fast but it was so early and on a huge avenue but she looked back saw me and ran away. I found it funny but yeah I was kinda sorry for her. Anyway what rejection makes with guys the lust we still engine for women does the same to girls. And it should be tiring and frustrating to be an amazing being among such losers as we guys all are who even though are losers still have unreal desires. It makes great songs too. Some of them are angry as hell others are just about a perfect world where they, the women, could hang only with boys who they like. We try to believe that we could be these boys but then we should think about what’s besides the bras and panties and that’s just too hard for some of us.

EICIBPDPOM - essay on bullshit # 3

Have no idea why. But i like music what other people find unlistenable. I like these bands so much that sometimes with the enthusiasm what i have for punk i can prove or more correctly cheat people into believing that the bands i like are actually good listens. It’s always cute when someone pretends or believes that what they are made to listen to is good for them. If it was they would already know. It’s true. I’m not listening to punk rock because that was my only choice. I wasn’t forced. From the beginning i liked two types of music: the very catchy and the very heavy. I knew fucking nothing neither about noisy, brutal bands nor what could power pop or garage rock be. My brother only listened to Nirvana and Jungle music and of course because he was the older i hated everything what he liked. No influence from the people above me. No fucking way. I remember i saw the album covers and t-shirt of bands like metallica, iron maiden, megadeath as cheap items for foreign tourists on pointless holiday based streets. I just wondered around them. I couldn’t speak english then but somehow i figured out megadeath should have meant something my mother wouldn’t really be pleased to know i’m a fan of at such a young age. So I stayed silent about it. But because these bands were popular that much a little clueless prick like me could know their names it meant they had terrible songs what music televisions could air. During summers my grandmas were looking after me at our flat. One of them only watched the live parliament broadcasting and yelled pimps, fuckers, pagans, sinners and other nice names on every politician which is to look back kinda cool but back then was confusing as hell. The other didn’t really give a damn about me. She was just trying to fill out her crossword puzzles but because she is old and back in the day it was much different she didn’t really have the schools what would be enough to fill out a cross world puzzle. So i was harmlessly watching horror movies on tv channels specialized to trash and besides horror I was hooked by some eastern european music channels. Which worked as video clip jukeboxes. I remember how excited i was when bands like the ones listed above hit the screen. When their names came up. The creepy video clips were alright. Then when i realized their songs just suck i couldn’t really understand the whole thing. Iron Maiden shirts looked awesome. While their music is terrible. Full with solos, people are actually singing in high and clean voices, the songs were disturbingly long. Nothing fit. Megadeath played ballads and i knew there’s got to be something faster, louder, shorter and more brutal. If there isn’t a video like A Tout Le Monde I could never become a punk. That thing pissed me off enough that I spent my life from then on searching for music what is better. And the result is. Almost everything is better. Well the huge seek for brutal songs wasn’t started then. Ultra melodic one summer hits just enchanted me from focusing on the serious mission. Then of course years have come and gone and i’ve listened to lots of shitty bands, believed in bands who suck bla bla fucking bla. What matters it was a fun ride since i did it mostly all alone. The highly intolerant local scene never treated me like shit. Or maybe they did but I have never noticed or cared about the most of it. I just loved the music, the attitude and the smell of how cheap cigarettes and cheaper beer mixed in sweat reeked air. I love discovering new bands all by myself and then have conversations about them. I never wanted to be a part of something big that connects me with everyone. I love the method of punks are being friendly with each other all over the world and sharing floors, nerd outs, beers even if they just know each other for minutes. But I’m just as fine with the fact that most of the time I’m sitting here alone at home listening to music. I couldn’t do it in connection with other people. I sometimes even hate showing music to other people. Bands I’m truly in love with. Cause I find it intimate. Some things are just too personal to show. And I hate searching for my own reactions on other people’s faces. I could say that I like the connection within me and the bands but I gotta love some assholes’ bands too and it’s true: in the listeners’ heads every band is just better. Punk is good in my head. Cause I like punk. Maybe that’s why I am one.

EICIBPDPOM - back