My
girlfriend left me her last cigarette what I’d just finished smoking. Then I
did the dishes, cleaned out all the disgusting black mold from the microwave
oven which she luckily haven’t seen and now I’m waiting for my water to boil up
so I can put a tea filter in it. It’s not even midnight but I don’t care. Flux
of Pink Indians is on and I plan to blast records till I finish this piece. If
I won’t cheat myself into watching Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett for hours
till I fall asleep.
I was lurking on that webpage for socializing with friends and I was wondering on the difference between my life and my high school classmates’ who are sharing photos of their weddings and newborn babies. I never thought happiness is what I do. I never thought that norms are unhappy although many times it has been proven that they kinda are. I’m not taking a cruise in the ocean of happiness and calm either so who knows the secret?
Some tend to say ignorance is bliss but truth be told I don’t know that much about life and the right way to live it either. I’m all right with the way I’m but I’ve always missed something. There was just always such a lack of something minor inside of me what was missed majorly. But nowadays I feel that I’m drifting towards a point where I could be satisfied with all this.
I feel weird writing these things that are the constant anxiety echoes in my head but punk is my life thus I think when I share these thoughts I’m still writing about punk a bit. About my punk. To survive it as an eastern European.
I was lurking on that webpage for socializing with friends and I was wondering on the difference between my life and my high school classmates’ who are sharing photos of their weddings and newborn babies. I never thought happiness is what I do. I never thought that norms are unhappy although many times it has been proven that they kinda are. I’m not taking a cruise in the ocean of happiness and calm either so who knows the secret?
Some tend to say ignorance is bliss but truth be told I don’t know that much about life and the right way to live it either. I’m all right with the way I’m but I’ve always missed something. There was just always such a lack of something minor inside of me what was missed majorly. But nowadays I feel that I’m drifting towards a point where I could be satisfied with all this.
I feel weird writing these things that are the constant anxiety echoes in my head but punk is my life thus I think when I share these thoughts I’m still writing about punk a bit. About my punk. To survive it as an eastern European.
This week I
booked a show for Big Eyes. I’m far from calling myself a fan of pop punk but I
have found their ‘90s college rock vibe charming. Big Eyes played a great show
and they were nice people to have around. We were watching together how the
bass player of Guided By Voices ate shit after a sketchy jump while performing
live on Letterman before we went out sightseeing. And instead of getting super
drunk we were watching lame ‘90s horror shows for American kids and reading
news about some creepy hotel. Awkward raging.
Then yesterday I went to a skate contest where a couple of my friends’ bands played. It was amazing. Having friends and skaters next to a local train’s rail line on a blown out concrete field. Just cool people, cheap beer, the setting sun and live punk music on the outskirts of Budapest. It sat the mood for the show later that night where I played with one of the bands that I’m in. I say it like this because it’s my friend’s solo project and I don’t write my parts I just play them live. It’s kinda refreshing since with many different things I have to do more than just play as hard as I can and try not to fuck up. So this simple task is my vacation in punk. Still it’s amazing to be in this band and play hardcore-ish d-beat raw punk. Hardcore for the abused and mutants. The show was amazing but it’s not a surprise when you put hundred and plus drunk punx into a rehearsal room and let their angst come out. Then joy will fill the air that makes you drunker than cheap booze. Mostly I was hanging with my girlfriend between and after the shows. It was refreshing. I’m really losing touch with keeping up my social life. It’s not that I hate people it’s that I was never really here for company.
I never really believed that punk is a shelter in the sense of we need each other that much to survive. I say this while 90% of my friends are punx and together we saved our lives and built something marvelous. Although most of the people I know are bond to this lifestyle but even among friends most of the times I feel solitude. It’s not really their fault and I know that strength is in each other but it’s just the way I was raised. I can’t trust people in a way as I could convince myself that I’m able to rely on them when I would be in trouble. And since I’m always afraid I am in trouble I hardly feel safe even among friends. So I have decided I will be concerned about the bare minimum of other people’s problems that type which could be solved by them too. With this free time I will focus on my own shit and try to make my girlfriend happy.
Then yesterday I went to a skate contest where a couple of my friends’ bands played. It was amazing. Having friends and skaters next to a local train’s rail line on a blown out concrete field. Just cool people, cheap beer, the setting sun and live punk music on the outskirts of Budapest. It sat the mood for the show later that night where I played with one of the bands that I’m in. I say it like this because it’s my friend’s solo project and I don’t write my parts I just play them live. It’s kinda refreshing since with many different things I have to do more than just play as hard as I can and try not to fuck up. So this simple task is my vacation in punk. Still it’s amazing to be in this band and play hardcore-ish d-beat raw punk. Hardcore for the abused and mutants. The show was amazing but it’s not a surprise when you put hundred and plus drunk punx into a rehearsal room and let their angst come out. Then joy will fill the air that makes you drunker than cheap booze. Mostly I was hanging with my girlfriend between and after the shows. It was refreshing. I’m really losing touch with keeping up my social life. It’s not that I hate people it’s that I was never really here for company.
I never really believed that punk is a shelter in the sense of we need each other that much to survive. I say this while 90% of my friends are punx and together we saved our lives and built something marvelous. Although most of the people I know are bond to this lifestyle but even among friends most of the times I feel solitude. It’s not really their fault and I know that strength is in each other but it’s just the way I was raised. I can’t trust people in a way as I could convince myself that I’m able to rely on them when I would be in trouble. And since I’m always afraid I am in trouble I hardly feel safe even among friends. So I have decided I will be concerned about the bare minimum of other people’s problems that type which could be solved by them too. With this free time I will focus on my own shit and try to make my girlfriend happy.
Thing I hate about the scene is when people act like they are above it. Ironics and cynicals are the plague of everything. For them everything is a trend what might be half true but half righteous as well. That’s lame. I don’t like people using punk because through this it might be easier to achieve some status somewhere. LEECHES! Is it elitism to think that your thing is more than the scene that you are a part of? Not the elitism that is accepted by me if there is any sort of. Anyway go fuck yourselves.
While I’m saying this I’m listening to Missing Foundation but I swear today I have spent a tram ride with listening to DYS and I’m planning for a week now to sit down next to my turn table and go through the complete discography of Minor Threat. Find something new in their evergreen tunes.
Tonight I have watched some Cult Ritual live videos. That band really was something and what they have created is still here. They were part of a huge movement for sure, if we can call something a movement that has separated elements and huge if huge means thousand people from all around the world thinking their lp is great. And it still is something I love to listen to. It’s the same with Sex Vid. Both bands are seemingly full with fans of damaged music that feeds it’s intensity from their lives. I hope they had less haunted lives than their music but just being complete nerds, freaks and misfits can be a good nest of amazing punk songs. I don’t know them for sure. But just looking on someone and hearing their music could tell a lot about them.
The thing is the more I listen to music like proto-techno post punk or Mongolian throat singers or trippy kraut rock I appreciate the power of punk more. Not because these sounds are that terrible they remind me that punk is the best, it’s the best because it is for me. Because music is life and good music is real life. I won’t say that there are only good and bad music but there is power that could be put into almost every genre and if it’s there almost everything could sound cool. Reasonable things, not prog-rock, white dad jazz or trippy hippy shits.
Let’s dig
in. Due to a pretty legit list that could be found at the www.swedishpunkfanzines.com I spent some recent time
discovering and re-listening to Scandinavian hardcore. It’s amazing how most of
those bands are carrying that inherrited ability of infusing perfect melodies
into their music. And while it’s raging, fast and reckless still there is
another layer to it which is pure hit material. Like something beautiful that
is damaged or vica versa.
We tend to mention Scandinavian rage along with Japanese hardcore but even though I’m a fan of both scenes and even these days the land of rising sun is a returning guest in my mind and listening devices but they are better at making a grotesque mess that is dangerous to dig into and when you dip in this world of glowing fetish and hyper activism it feels like a childish marvel on the strangeness of humans. Yes, I did listen to LSD this week.
Scandinavian hardcore is different from this. Take Bannlyst who are amazing. Their arsenal contains neck breaking speed, filth and amateurism. In my head they resonate as early Agnostic Front. Or as how I hear Agnostic Front. How AF appeared on a cable show without one of their members, switching instruments, pretending they are playing on them. This chaos with the skandinavian melodies I was detailing above equals a really unique sound. And I’m talking now about a 7” that was released decades ago and still it could save my day.
And fuck, I love the first Sods record. All of its various sounds. From where it departs till where it arrives. Thank you technology for guitars.
We tend to mention Scandinavian rage along with Japanese hardcore but even though I’m a fan of both scenes and even these days the land of rising sun is a returning guest in my mind and listening devices but they are better at making a grotesque mess that is dangerous to dig into and when you dip in this world of glowing fetish and hyper activism it feels like a childish marvel on the strangeness of humans. Yes, I did listen to LSD this week.
Scandinavian hardcore is different from this. Take Bannlyst who are amazing. Their arsenal contains neck breaking speed, filth and amateurism. In my head they resonate as early Agnostic Front. Or as how I hear Agnostic Front. How AF appeared on a cable show without one of their members, switching instruments, pretending they are playing on them. This chaos with the skandinavian melodies I was detailing above equals a really unique sound. And I’m talking now about a 7” that was released decades ago and still it could save my day.
And fuck, I love the first Sods record. All of its various sounds. From where it departs till where it arrives. Thank you technology for guitars.
More music.
I’m blasting the B side of my Siege lp right now.
Two days
before I was lying in my bed jamming Crisis after listening to Can’s lost tapes
beyond midnight hours to have something as an escort to my sleepy eyes and dead
end thoughts. I love the weirdly good quality of these anarcho fellows’s
songwriting. Crisis has songs you can actually dance to. In your mind, with your
mind. On the imaginary grave of fascist cops and collapsed governments. I call
this the english groove cause post punk there was about heavy bass beats and
song structures that made you jump. Not how pothead, paranoid slacker rock as
post-hardcore was in America. Europe is about dancing foolz!
I love anarcho punk and I love post punk and I love the vicious bleakness of that failed futurism that was happening at the same time these bands have existed. Have you heard the Division Four demo, ep, mini lp whatever it is? It sounds like as if Kubrick would hired an Oi band to score Clockwork Orange II where Robo Cop is being harassed by ultraviolent but poetically sad rude boys. While in the background something so new that is already expired is happening like a broken dream that is still sealed. On the front we have some indolent vocals with dumb/scared lyrics on how lame humans are even today. It’s really really good. Australia is on fire fool if that flame has ever been taken out. Love their obvious weirdness. I’m still in love with Total Control. To take pills to remember to take pills to forget.
The end of this year is getting closer so it’s gonna be a time when I should re-listen to most of the records I liked this year. Lists are still stupid but maybe it should be a shame to let actually good records be forgotten. Was there a record this year as memorable as Cult Ritual’s lp or anything Sex Vid ever put out? Maybe. Every year is a good year in punk. Cause punk makes a year great.
I tend to detail here nights that I have spent with visiting random rehearsals and this time I will again tell you that I was at a military object’s abandoned building that was functioning as a dress storage for an armature theater company and in some extra room there was a practice space for bands. We asked the renter bands to let us sneak in to play our set before a show we had that night. Because we had time to kill, half of my band got high after practice while I was just sitting still and listening to some jammed out fuzz fused stoner weird rock that was played by complete weirdoes.
I adore those kids because they seem to not give a fuck at all about anything that is not serving their desire to get joy out of desolated nights. Those types who can walk a mile just to get a cigarette in freezing cold still wearing only a shirt and not even shrugging their shoulders. Survivors. It’s not Kids at Budapest in 2013. These kids are modern age bohemians. Intellectuals who seem to have time for everything because they have perverted time. They spend their hours giving it to art and trash only to learn one thing about life and many of these times the award is only a question. But instead of paintings and poems they use music, cartoons and shitloads of weed.
What I was thinking about is how many amazing bands are doing something in hidden rooms? Those who are lazy or unmotivated to record and put out their sounds. Those who go into rooms and turn their backs on the world and get disconnected to the rule what their nation is forcing on them. Then I felt that creating music is universal. Because they had no intention to do anything with it. Is this happening anywhere else? Unsaid thought, unwritten novels, unrecorded songs, unlived romances? Do I wanna hear them or would that spoil everything? Should it be a secret what we do?
I love anarcho punk and I love post punk and I love the vicious bleakness of that failed futurism that was happening at the same time these bands have existed. Have you heard the Division Four demo, ep, mini lp whatever it is? It sounds like as if Kubrick would hired an Oi band to score Clockwork Orange II where Robo Cop is being harassed by ultraviolent but poetically sad rude boys. While in the background something so new that is already expired is happening like a broken dream that is still sealed. On the front we have some indolent vocals with dumb/scared lyrics on how lame humans are even today. It’s really really good. Australia is on fire fool if that flame has ever been taken out. Love their obvious weirdness. I’m still in love with Total Control. To take pills to remember to take pills to forget.
The end of this year is getting closer so it’s gonna be a time when I should re-listen to most of the records I liked this year. Lists are still stupid but maybe it should be a shame to let actually good records be forgotten. Was there a record this year as memorable as Cult Ritual’s lp or anything Sex Vid ever put out? Maybe. Every year is a good year in punk. Cause punk makes a year great.
I tend to detail here nights that I have spent with visiting random rehearsals and this time I will again tell you that I was at a military object’s abandoned building that was functioning as a dress storage for an armature theater company and in some extra room there was a practice space for bands. We asked the renter bands to let us sneak in to play our set before a show we had that night. Because we had time to kill, half of my band got high after practice while I was just sitting still and listening to some jammed out fuzz fused stoner weird rock that was played by complete weirdoes.
I adore those kids because they seem to not give a fuck at all about anything that is not serving their desire to get joy out of desolated nights. Those types who can walk a mile just to get a cigarette in freezing cold still wearing only a shirt and not even shrugging their shoulders. Survivors. It’s not Kids at Budapest in 2013. These kids are modern age bohemians. Intellectuals who seem to have time for everything because they have perverted time. They spend their hours giving it to art and trash only to learn one thing about life and many of these times the award is only a question. But instead of paintings and poems they use music, cartoons and shitloads of weed.
What I was thinking about is how many amazing bands are doing something in hidden rooms? Those who are lazy or unmotivated to record and put out their sounds. Those who go into rooms and turn their backs on the world and get disconnected to the rule what their nation is forcing on them. Then I felt that creating music is universal. Because they had no intention to do anything with it. Is this happening anywhere else? Unsaid thought, unwritten novels, unrecorded songs, unlived romances? Do I wanna hear them or would that spoil everything? Should it be a secret what we do?
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