Sunday, January 16, 2011

TLWFY - essay on bullshit # 3

Actually we are the cool ones. Cause we are really ok with ourselves and we are confident and don’t really give a fuck about unimportant others, circumstances and bogus obstacles. No one knows this because we are all in a secret society. The world does make us awkward and confused and barely functional when it drags us out from our safe circles. It always wants to prove us we worth nothing. Even if we don’t, I don’t give a fuck till I love this non-existence. For me it’s the world what sucks. And if we turn our backs on it, we bravely express our opinions, for start we do have opinions. We don’t give a fuck about shit like whether we look good or not, social statuses and consuming capitalist symbols. But we do give a mountain-full of shit for what we do, think or how we live our lives. When I sit alone at bars listen to other people I feel like they are part of another reality. A parallel one which I can see and they could see me as well but we hardly cross each other’s lines. They are just different and make me sad all the time. I don’t wanna change them, not even feel sorry for them. They just make me sad and I would have to pay heavy money for a shirk if I wanted to know the why beyond this sorrow. I don’t care that much till I have my people. With whom i could bond, appreciate and help each other easily if we spy the common signs and could speak the common language. Which uses the grammar of the punk attitude. This is all just narcissism and the share of that. I love that i love what i love. And i love it cause i could feel connected to it. And it’s good to share. I like people who could be enthusiastic and do hard work like child’s play because they want to do this whatever and it makes everything easy all the time. Sometimes when i see someone who seems like an interesting or beautiful person i imagine her to be into things similar like i am. Cause how on earth she isn’t, while she looks like the coolest person ever. We were walking on the streets with my good friend one hot summer night and he explained how disappointing is for him to see someone from a distance and feel like she or he is one of us. But getting closer it’s just the cloths and the look, maybe the gesture on the face. But nothing from the arsenal of our secrets. Ipod has became a social status symbol as once mobile phones or plasma tvs in eastern europe had. But everyone makes calls or watches tv. But only a few could fill a pocket sided multimedia object with many gigas of music. And there’s even fewer for whom there’s never enough place to fill. We are one of a kind. We are unique. Or at least we were.

We liked to be locked. We lock ourselves from the world because it’s boring and useless when it doesn’t offer us good money, tasty food, great sight to see while walking. But to be locked is always better when we are locked together with someone. That’s why I wonder if those people who look I am, are they similar to me. Are they part of the secret? They have an ipod full with music there’s got to be something common. The thing is. It really isn’t that hard to fill an ipod. Not that hard either with music I would be nerding out on. Everything is learnable nowadays that’s why it’s easy to adapt. Some people put their whole lives into the liking of some things or just to have a great taste and feel like they should be paid for that.

We hate these people cause they are selling out our precious obsessions. They make culture from it. Turning it into something cheap and easily adoptable. With observable objects and treating the whole as a subject. They (means we) are angry. Why? It has to be some lame, childish shit. While maybe we are just naturally angry. That’s what normal for us. We didn’t choose punk because it looked the coolest or because that’s what our surroundings were listening to. We found it because we knew there’s gotta be something like this. Because for us it’s the coolest but we live this. And we are not normal people. For normal people it’s the least cool.

The problem is this. New people told to discover bands because they (the bands) are cool so people are not doing it by themselves but to become the ones who name dropped obscure bands from their rebelfull youth. The main problem is not accepting a suggestion. It’s that in many people’s heads these bands are not cool because of their music and their messages simply are but because cool people only said they are. While punk is not about accepting. It’s about learning, thinking and improving, as far as possible by yourself from your own will. Cause it’s all about liberating yourself and become cool by your own terms.

Owning something this obscure holds it’s protection in it’s obscurity. But now in this informational world obscurity is just a water fall. Everyone could step through it and becoming wet is nothing what people are afraid of anymore. More so people love to tell stories about getting wet just look around the worshippers of GG Allin. So here we are. We have traitors with followers trying to mimic us. While these things couldn’t be reduced to shirts and the listening to bands. I think like that major threat nike ad wasn’t nike’s evil plan to exploit and rob the punk community and label it with a cheap remark of an amazing ep. More likely there was someone in love with Minor Threat and thought it would be cool to drop a reference. Out from a semi-secret source. But even if it came from enthusiasm the idea was kinda lame. The thing is. That ep is still as good many many years later as even one of the biggest companies on earth couldn’t spoil it. Cause we are the cool ones. We are strong and self-assured. Money, shinning lights and nude bodies won’t buy my life up. If I buy a nike shoes I will do it cause I either like the design or trust it’s life-span against the ground I’m walking on.

I have to admit. Some of the bands I’m listening to are the best bands on this planet. So if people only like their music is highly believable for me. But just because someone had listened to some bands for a brief time s/he doesn’t know punk. Just to be among individuals won’t make you one of them. Maybe what we do is no secret anymore. They listen to the bands we like, read the zines we read and attend at concerts we go to, they wear the cloths we like to wrap around our bodies. We could be reproduced for a picture or for a video clip. Even someone could mimic that he is as cool as we are with waving a bad brains record to the camera. But who is cool that not gonna do this. The importance of knowing is most likely disappearing day by day. Am I sad because of it? A little. It’s kinda frustrating seeing something I love from the bottom of my heart being worn out by assholes. So what do I do? I don’t care about those dickheads. I do believe in everyone is doing what they want to do, so I’m not gonna start to try changing their ideas nor will I wanna make them leave and forget. I believe in creating alternatives. Options. Which already exist. This alternative existed long before the first punk song was ever written. And finally it got back home again filled with meaning. What matters today is what we feel and think. But I’d rather go with the feeling. Because it’s true, it couldn’t be bought, adopted, mimicked. By time goes and we still do the same, listen to the same music people will less likely understand why we still carry on. And that’s good. Cause they would have to feel it to understand. And what is really magical: They never will.

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